FUNNY to the MAX!
Look at this project description I spotted on Upwork this morning from a KING of Malapropisms!
“we need a 5 step email customer neutering sequencefor our asbestos removal business”
Customers who want to be neutered should be clamoring for this!
Some clients need a lot more help than they think they do!!!
Oh, my God, I just about fell out of my chair when I read this. I’m sure the post-er meant “nurturing” when he typed it, or maybe auto-correct stepped in to help him out…
Either way, it’s hysterical!!
I wish I’d kept more of these goofy project postings. I need to start keeping them, but I very much doubt I could ever find one to top this one…
The other thing about this project description is that’s all there is of it. There is no approximate word count, no attached source materials, no indication where it will appear (website, flyer, brochure), and no stated budget, so if a provider wants to serve this fellow, they have to spend connect fees to reach out and find out more. It’s a really crappy project description, for that reason, no matter how laugh-out-loud funny it is!
Sometimes I laugh out loud because a client wants a freaking masterpiece, research included, for .0005 cents per word. That’s funny in a gut-churning sort of way!
Most of the potential customers at Upwork are looking for bargain-basement prices. That’s funny!
If they persist and insist on low price providers, they’ll get very unfunny results and start thinking every writer for hire on the planet is a lousy writer.
And that’s NOT funny. In fact, that’s tragic. Because they’ll stop looking and I’ll never get the opportunity to serve them and prove to them that not all writers are alike.
In fact, very few writers are alike. Read their testimonials. Look at their portfolios. Be a discerning customer.
So you’ll get nurtured (instead of neutered) by your provider!!!